After long enough of being alone
Everyone must face their share of loneliness
In my own time nobody knew the pain I was goin' through
And waitin' was all my heart could do
Hope was all I had until you came...
(from "Only Yesterday" by Karen and Richard Carpenter)
The incredibly smooth, contralto notes of Karen Carpenter's first line still make my heart melt, every time.
The song was released in 1975 on the album "Horizon," when I was 13 years old. It's the soundtrack of my teen years. Don't we all get our hearts nailed down to the popular music from that phase of our development? I certainly did.
Some people get all mushy about a hearing particular song that accompanies their memories of falling in love with their dearly beloved. I do, too. But in terms of the power to recreate clear memories right down to the details of one's sensory memory, the soundtrack of falling in love with my husband still can't compare to the songs of those years when I was 14, 15, and 16 years old (Sorry, Husband).
I can still feel the velvety softness of my gold bedspread, remember the coolness and hear the hum of the air conditioner in the background as I read romance novels into the wee hours of the mornings during my boarding school vacations. I would lie on my bed, tummy down, book on the floor, and devour the stories. I can still feel the pressure over my eyes from my favorite reading posture, looking down toward my book on the bright green carpet, my arm hanging down to turn the pages. I was smart enough to realize that the romance novels all followed a predictable pattern, but that made them no less addictive. My heart was drunk with the vicarious tingle of falling in love, relishing how the main characters' conversations danced around the fact that two people were falling in love but hadn't figured it out yet, feeling the hope seep deep into my heart that someday, someday, this kind of story would be populated with my very own details. And in the background, on the cassette tape recorder, Karen Carpenter sang.
Only yesterday when I was sad and I was lonely,
You showed me the way to leave the past and all its tears behind me.
Tomorrow may be even brighter than today
Since I threw my sadness away
Only yesterday.
(and here the guitar riff takes off, wailing in a way that no music did, in what I usually listened to)
And then there was another one:
Stop! Oh yes, wait a minute Mr. Postman
Wait! Wait Mr. Postman
Around the age of 13 I had read a book written completely as a correspondence between a guy and a girl as they fell in love, and I'd been absolutely fascinated. The Carpenters' punchy Postman song dovetailed with my own dreams of falling in love via letters--never realizing that after several correspondences through my life I would actually fall in love "head first" via e-mails with my husband. There was just something so delicious about a correspondence romance, and the Carpenters fed it delightfully as they tried to waylay the postman.
The heartsick ballads--and there were plenty of those on Karen and Richard Carpenters' albums--were fine, but what I really liked were the songs that told of joy after pain, healing after hurt, giddy happiness on the heels of love being elusive for so long. These provided just the soundtrack to go with my romance novels, in which all things work out so beautifully by the last page. I felt I could imagine exactly what Karen Carpenter meant when she sang,
Happy is the way I'm feelin', and I know it comes from being with you.
All at once my life is changin', and I know it's 'cause I'm fallin' in love
With you!
Fallin' in love with you.
As I reminisce, the songs swirl around my head, all in that wonderful sweet-molasses voice of Karen Carpenter. And I am happy--happy for the music, happy for being able to access the memories, happy for my own love story that was so satisfying that I completely lost my old interest in romance novels. I think I'll go give my husband a big ol' smoocheroo and then download the entire soundtrack of "Horizon" to my playlist. And I'll feel sad for a little while again today that our world has lost Karen Carpenter's beautiful voice.
Ginger--love it. And by the way, late is always acceptable where responding to the prompt is concern. And even going off prompt. Isn't it nice that this ISN'T school?
ReplyDeleteI especially loved these words from your post: "My heart was drunk with the vicarious tingle of falling in love."
Ah, yes, the Carpenters were a sweet soundtrack to grow up with.
What a great retrospective with past and present well tied together: very thorough with excellent description such as "sweet-molasses voice."
ReplyDeleteI have the "Best of the Carpenters" on my iPod and still enjoy listening to them. I remember being very sad when she died and it was really the first time I understood the destructive nature of her illness. I remember the summer I read through an entire box of Harlequin romance novels (very guiltily).
ReplyDeleteI remember how very cool she was, as a lead singer AND a drum player! Even the most resistant of my friends gave her props for that. I loved how melodic her voice was as well, and the lyrics were so clear, there was never any doubt anyone could sing along. What I remember most is that she was the first face of the diagnosis of anorexia nervosa. It was very sad that she left us so soon.
ReplyDeleteI, too, loved the Carpenters. I do wish I could get my iTunes to cooperate; it has been on the fritz for months, with no apparent solution. I'm thinking that I'll switch to Pandora permanently.
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