Tolerance

Tolerance: sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one's own; the act of allowing something (from Merriam-Webster online)

Today is the "International Day for Tolerance," named in 1996 by the United Nations to be celebrated every November 16. Here's an interesting quote from the website:

Intolerance is often rooted in ignorance and fear: fear of the unknown, of the "other", other cultures, religions and nations. Intolerance is also linked to an exaggerated sense of self-worth and pride: notions taught and learned at an early age. Therefore in coming years, we need to place greater emphasis on educating children about tolerance, human rights and fundamental freedoms.

Another website notes that the ultimate form of intolerance is genocide. That is sobering, and I believe it's true. 

I've been intrigued for some time by the meaning of the word "tolerance." The definition with which I started this post doesn't quite encapsulate the way I've understood the word in the past. I have always heard "tolerance" to mean "put up with." If I tolerate someone or something, that doesn't connote sympathy or indulgence, as the dictionary definition says. To me "tolerate" means "allow," and typically it suggests that while I allow something or someone to have their way, I will do so with some grumpiness. I'll bend, but I won't break to make way for whatever I'm tolerating.

What does that mean for the things that typically become flash points for intolerance: religion, race, sexual orientation, body size, disability, national origin and so on? If we're on the "short end" of any of those, living in a discriminated-against group, we're not going to be satisfied with simply "being put up with," although it is better than being completely shut out. Whichever minority category you fit into, you want to be welcomed and treated with kindness.

Perhaps the definitions from Dictionary.com are closer to what I'd seek in celebrating an International Day for Tolerance:

--a fair, objective and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, etc. differ from one's own; freedom from bigotry.

--interest in and concern for ideas, opinions, practices, etc. foreign to one's own; a liberal, undogmatic viewpoint

Current culture has become a strange mix of tolerant and intolerant. I believe it's a symptom of several conditions, from the drive to live with conviction and stand one's ground in a world that is increasingly grey, to an insistence--in the United States, anyhow--on freedom and personal rights.

It seems like society is polarizing, and in the midst of this polarization, society is also suffering wild mood swings. For example, watch the chatter on political talk shows, read the comments below online news stories where people sling barbs and insults at one another. Watch people's reactions to Muslims in this country. Consider the way our society balances (or fails to balance) issues of sexual behavior with what a given community considers as "moral." Tolerance, in terms of being willing to listen and show concern for those who are different, is in short supply.

My point is, we tend to create groups in our minds, such that "my color is in, and your color is out." On the other hand, you might be one of those who says, "I know my color is out, and yours is in, and I would just like you to draw your circle a bit bigger to include me."

In every person's world tolerance looks a bit different, because tolerance is based on what is different from you. In a Christian country can we live peaceably next door to Hindus? In a conservative church family, can we accept those who don't read the Bible literally? In a primarily white town, can we welcome people with brown skin? In a country where English is spoken by the majority, can we be considerate enough to provide a translation for those who don't? In a male-dominated workplace, can we welcome women as colleagues and leaders?

Today's world is no more tolerant than in 1996 when the United Nations named November 16 as the International Day for Tolerance. I hope that teachers in schools around the world are talking about it today. As the world shrinks through travel, economies and communications, as the world careens into unwillingness to accommodate those who are different, as the world becomes more fearful of the "other," teaching and learning tolerance will become ever more crucial.

Back to the beginning. I winced at the first picture in this post, wanting to look away. At the same time, the definition on that picture is my favorite: Tolerance: Grace for those who are different. That's it. Right there.