Annotated

FROM MRS ANN WILLIAM So do I know you?

Greetings, Hi.

For sure this mail would definitely come to you as surprise, No kidding, but since it came into my inbox, it MUST be for me and it MUST be important, right? but do take your good time to painstakenly go through it before disposing it. "Pains takenly?" That's pretty clever. It's a long letter you've sent me, so pains must have been taken. And I'm takin' pains to go through it. Trust me, I can be counted on to "dispose it" when I'm done, per your careful instructions.

As you read this, I don't want you to feel sorry for me, because I believe everyone will die oneday. Uh, I don't know you so I'm not likely to feel sorry for you. And I have to agree, with few exceptions, about that last part.

l am MRS ANN WILLIAM, am married to MR CAMPBELL WILLIAM Why are you shouting your names? who worked with GAMBIA EMBASSY here in COTE D'IVOIRE nine years before he died in the year 2006. You're still shouting. Quit it. I've never been to either place, but my friend Susie went to Cote d'Ivoire, and she died young, too. Must be a dangerous place. We were married for eleven years without a child. he died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. And this is important because...?

Before his deathwe were living together in good harmony. When my late husband was alive we deposited the sum of $4.5 Million (FOUR MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS ) in the BANK here in COTE D' IVOIRE . Well, I have two thoughts about that. First, what embassy worker can afford to save up $4.5 million? Second, you'd have to be nuts to not put it in a more secure bank. How about Switzerland?

Presently, this money is still with the BANK. Recently, My Doctor told me that I would not last for the next ONE MONTH due to cancer problem. Sorry to hear that. If I would not last the next ONE MONTH, I wouldn't be yelling, though. Seems like you ought to conserve your energy.

Though what disturbs me most is my stroke. That would indeed be disturbing. Having known my condition I decided to donate thisfund to Ophanage (less previlages) or to an individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here acording to mydesire. Very magnanimous of you.

I needed good partner that will use this fund for the helping orphanages,Research centres and widows.I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband,s relatives are not good and never loved me for once through out mymarriage expereince with my late husband. That can happen. More often than you think.

Therefor, I don't want my family hard earned money to be misused by wickeds men. I'm with you there. Wickeds men must be avoided at all costs. And wickeds men must be prevented from getting their grubby hands on your dollars. Hence thereason for taking this bold decision. What bold decision? To donate to orphanages? I'm struggling to understand what's bold here. I am not afraid of death hence I now where I am going to. Where? Do tell. If you need my telephone for communication in regarding the transaction you let me know. What transaction? Your transaction from earth to wherever you're headed? A telephone won't help a whole lot, you know.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the BANK who will assist you and work with you concerning the money at the BANK. Oh, I see! You want me to help with disbursing your FOUR MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS from the BANK (See? Isn't it annoying when people yell?). Well, I'm on it like a ton of bricks. I'm into helping orphans and widows and pre-empting wickeds men, too. You got a friend here, Mrs. Ann William. I'll hit the Reply button right away, right after I drop by the pharmacy to get my anti-malarials in preparation for my trip to Cote d'Ivoire, which of course will come right after I wire you all the money in my bank account for some obscure, badly-spelled reason.

REGARDS, I'm always suspicious of people who end with "regards." Like, what kind? Ill regards? Bad regards? Good regards? Best regards? You sort of want a modifier on that one, else it might conceal a knife in the back, you know?

MRS ANN WILLIAM

P.S. Odd. Your e-mail address indicates that you're writing from South Korea. You sure do get around.