The Do-Over Button

"If you had a 'Do-Over' button, what one event in your life would you like to have a second chance at doing better?"

This question was listed recently at The One-Minute Writer, a blog that gives a daily writing prompt. The catchy subtitle: "You have 1,440 minutes a day. Use one of them to write." I dropped by later to see what people had posted as their one-minute response to the question, and read through the poignant thoughts there.

Lynne said:

For me, it is definitely involving parenting. There are many times while in learning mode, that I wish I could have done differently where my two daughters are concerned. I was not there at times because I was too involved in work or myself. I would give anything to do it over and give back that time to them.

Sherri posted thoughts along the same lines:

I would "do over" the time spent with my young sons ( who are now grown and out of the home). I wish I would have listened closer, held them longer, kissed them more often, given them more WISDOM, less rules, and would have just SLOWED down and enjoyed the moment even more.

Some of the responses were surprising to me. Trudi said:

As morbid as it sounds, my "do-over" would be to have taken a camera with me to my Mom's funeral. She looked like she felt better than she had in a very long time, and I wish I would have captured that.

Sometimes the regrets were not so much about making things right, but were a bit more self-serving in making the writer feel better about himself or herself. For example, Mike wrote:

There's one specific event, which I cannot recount in a minute, that involved an ex-girlfriend and something I said. I would take that back, not to get her back, but just so I didn't feel so awful about it years later.

Ares wanted the Do-Over button to make her life feel better, too:

I would like to undo (or redo, for vengeful purposes) the things I've done to my little nerve-breaking brother. At the first place, I was the one who inspired him to be as monstrous. And now it's backfiring at me.

And then there were the people who regretted letting family or society pressure them into not following their dreams for a once-in-a-lifetime event:

I would do over my wedding day - same guy but completely different setting. I would place much less emphasis on etiquette and more on celebrating my love for him. I would sing him a song. I would make sure there was ice cream along with the cake. I would wear the wedding gown that I liked the best instead of the one my mother liked best. And we would drive away from the casual reception at the lake on jet ski's - not from a hotel ballroom in a fancy car.

One that I found heartbreaking was Devani's:

When my first son was stillborn, I spent hours trying to make a lifetime of memories. I nuzzled his neck, gobbled his little toes, blew raspberries on his belly. But I forgot to open his eyes. If I could do one thing over in my life, I would look into my son's eyes.

Another one that made me sad was this one:

I would have said no. I wouldn't have fallen prey to the ideas and standards that surrounded me... ideas so far below my own. I wouldn't have gone back with him that night. I wouldn't have made the mistake of giving him something he didn't even deserve - something I can never get back. Now I'm not, nor will I ever be the same. & every day is a constant struggle to regain faith in myself - to fill up the void in place of my heart, and to hope someday I'll find someone who will help me right the wrongs... and will love me, mistake and all.

Deb's was sad, too; there are so many of us who are letting significant moments go by when we should be spending time loving people:

If I had a "do over' button: I would have done things differently when my mom had Alzheimer's. I would have visited more often, I would have spent much more time with her. I would have quit my job and taken care of her. I would have told her I loved her more often. I would have hugged her. I would have sat with her and held her hand. I would have tried to show her I loved her more. I have many, many regrets about that time.

Ever since I saw this prompt I've been thinking about the events for which I would like a Do-Over button. Instead of describing those here, I thought that I'd load up this post and invite you to think about it, too. For some situations in my life it's too late because someone has gone beyond my reach or there's too much water under the bridge, so to speak.

But, for all of us--as long as we're still living and breathing--there's an opportunity at least in a situation or two to set some things right, or do something right the first time, before we're left only with regrets. Seems like Christmas is a good time to take care of those.