Floreated Teenie Weenie Veritas

As I have been thinking about the use and misuse of words since my last post, let me just throw in a stream-of-consciousness piece here about words and what they convey.

Our oldest daughter, when she was teaching English in Japan, brought to our attention the fascination that Asians have with writing on t-shirts (or on any surface, for that matter) and how they often garble the English language in making that happen. (Well, at least in Northeast Asia. Southeast Asia seems to have a better grasp on English by far, but I may be personally biased.) Oldest Daughter--who is one of my heroes in life--has a couple of amusing t-shirt examples that she bought and wears. Unfortunately, I don't have pictures of those.

But having become sensitized to reading t-shirts when visiting that region of the world, I noticed one on the Korean subway that cracked me up. It's the t-shirt message I sort of "recreated" above: FLOREATED TEENIE WEENIE VERITAS. I was dying to get a picture of the t-shirt, but folks, there's just a teenie weenie bit of shyness left in me and I couldn't work up the courage to ask.

So, what does it mean to sport a flowery, teenie weenie bit of truth? I think that t-shirt would be a hot seller at Harvard, where their motto is "Veritas," in case you're not acquainted with that part of the world.

The best place to see funny t-shirt sayings--and various other phrases used by second language learners--is at engrish.com, to which I was also tipped off by Oldest Daughter. I thought I'd give you a few examples here. When I see something like, "Defy the Keen Edge of Desire," I do a "Huh?" double-take, and then I always start looking for the deeper meaning, which may or may not be present. I can pretty much guarantee a deeper meaning wasn't intended. Sometimes, I've decided, your brain just needs to relax and accept that you don't have to make deep sense out of everything. On the other hand, you might hit paydirt and make wonderful sense out of something that didn't originally make sense at all.The guy who designed this shirt must have figured it out. He just pointed out the meaninglessness right up front.And then there's the girl who's warning us to get ready for the judgment, which intrigued me mightily. Did you know that the final judgment was going to impact all five senses intensely? I didn't. Not all of the t-shirts are meaningless or negative or scary, however. I like the idea of being able to turn on the charm and being guaranteed of then being perceived as marverous. I'd like to be charming and marverous every single day, as a matter of fact.

All of these t-shirts are fun and entertaining, but yesterday I saw one right here where I'm visiting in Bend, Oregon that struck me as simply depressing. Maybe it's because I was taking in the whole picture of the shirt plus its wearer.

We were sitting with a friend in a fairly pricey Mediterranean restaurant for supper, and a guy sat at the next table with a woman. He had a very short haircut, and a weathered and tanned face. Although he was probably around fifty, his face was lined and leathery with frown lines. He had frowny lips, as well, and frowny eyebrows. He was wearing these words on his black t-shirt:I could overhear his conversation, which was proceeding like thick molasses, since he was expressing himself so deliberately. "I ... can't ... believe ... I ... didn't .... I ... can't .... believe...." Oh for Pete's sake! I was waiting for him to spit out what he couldn't believe while still trying to look interested and engaged with my husband and our friend, and Mr. Frowny Self-Absorbed Guy started his phrase all over! A minute later he was still trying to get it said.

I didn't catch his entire conversation, but I did catch that it was very self-centered and suffocating in his expectations of others. His t-shirt message contributed to the picture. Here were my thoughts as I observed: This is a guy who thinks looking good is everything, but ironically, he doesn't look good himself. Maybe he's rich. Maybe he owns a big company or has developed a lot of real estate around here. But who would want to work for him? Someone must report directly to him, if he's built a business selling something people want to buy. How did he convince them to buy from him? He sounds like one of those self-important guys who actually dupes some people into thinking he is important. I wonder if the woman's bored out of her mind? I know I'd be ready to plead a food allergy and leave the restaurant--a trick I've actually been known to pull in order to end to a miserable date; but seriously, I ate something with milk in it first so that I'd be telling the truth...

As I write this, I'm thinking, Maybe he'd had some brain injury or something. Maybe he has a learning disability. Maybe I've unfairly and meanly judged a guy who wasn't what I perceived.

Well, according to the t-shirt, judgment produces a five-senses-intense-impact experience, so that could be interesting ... for someone. And that's the Floreated Teeny-Weenie Veritas.